Having more and more friends, I have started to socialize more often. So I have now Hungarian friend, I have Transylvanian friends, I have my own friends back in Hungary, Simon's friends here and my own friends back at home.
And so recently I have been going out with most of them. Back at home, I felt really great, they are my friends, I have known them forever and yet I felt so much in focus talking about my experiences abroad. My Hungarian friends cannot really see all my background and so understand me either. With the English people I have fun, a lot of fun. But we don't really have deep roots going back. And the truth be told, I think I am a bit reserved as well in making new friends or even opening up to the old one. I'm having a bit of a rough time settling in, I guess.
I need some time...
Thursday 29 July 2010
Sunday 25 July 2010
Anchor
There are many things rather difficult to live with, when you move abroad. After all, you change so many things, places, people. But the most difficult part is when you have to do this in a way that you cannot share all these moments with your partner. And I mean right there and then or at least at the end of the day next to a dinner or glass of wine.
So yes, we have a weekend relationship. We talk every day at least once, but most of the times, more than once on phone. But we only see each other on the weekends. Have you ever tried to squeeze in everything into a couple of days? It's very difficult. It's a pressure-game. Sooner or later it becomes hard. For both.
You look back on the past two or three days and think to yourself: This is what life should be like. Every day. Cause it's so good, so natural. But because it cannot happen, you kiss him goodbye for the week or fortnight and keep looking forward to the next time you see him and maybe a more distant future when this happens every morning when he leaves for work and comes back in the evening.
Cause he is like an anchor. You know you are alright, you are you when you're around him. Works like magic. Every time.
So yes, we have a weekend relationship. We talk every day at least once, but most of the times, more than once on phone. But we only see each other on the weekends. Have you ever tried to squeeze in everything into a couple of days? It's very difficult. It's a pressure-game. Sooner or later it becomes hard. For both.
You look back on the past two or three days and think to yourself: This is what life should be like. Every day. Cause it's so good, so natural. But because it cannot happen, you kiss him goodbye for the week or fortnight and keep looking forward to the next time you see him and maybe a more distant future when this happens every morning when he leaves for work and comes back in the evening.
Cause he is like an anchor. You know you are alright, you are you when you're around him. Works like magic. Every time.
Tuesday 20 July 2010
Home
Nothing feels, tastes or smell as good as home. No matter how vigorously I try to convince myself, that I feel great here...and I actually do. But then I go home and I feel charged again.
It's something deep that I may not be able to explain, but sometimes I feel as if my blood would be flowing on those streets, cause I am part of it and the town is part of me.
I have attended a wedding as well. I always liked weddings. I have only been to a few of them, but I always felt the same thing: I want one, too! I just feel very special each time as if it would be something so magical, so irreplaceable by anything else. But also it is always so heart warming to see the strong bonds in between people turning into something more visible or serious.
So, yes, I want one too.
It's something deep that I may not be able to explain, but sometimes I feel as if my blood would be flowing on those streets, cause I am part of it and the town is part of me.
I have attended a wedding as well. I always liked weddings. I have only been to a few of them, but I always felt the same thing: I want one, too! I just feel very special each time as if it would be something so magical, so irreplaceable by anything else. But also it is always so heart warming to see the strong bonds in between people turning into something more visible or serious.
So, yes, I want one too.
Monday 12 July 2010
London
So finally I had a day on my own when I could wonder around in London. And although I might have thought that I would get lost, everything was perfectly understandable, with loads of signs so I got around just well.
I picked a great day as it was very sunny, got on the train literally in the last moment and headed off to London. I think it's a place of endless discoveries. Maybe it was just my first time, but I had such a great time and I barely saw anything!
I did notice that you need a lot of money to have fun in the UK, but there were also a couple of things I could try for free and so I did. And you know how sometimes you feel you have so much energy that you could walk for miles in your very uncomfortable shoes without feeling a thing until you sit down and stop? This is the kind of day I had. I felt young and careless like a student (this time with money though...) and happy like a little girl.
Everyone should be allowed to have a day off in London.
I picked a great day as it was very sunny, got on the train literally in the last moment and headed off to London. I think it's a place of endless discoveries. Maybe it was just my first time, but I had such a great time and I barely saw anything!
I did notice that you need a lot of money to have fun in the UK, but there were also a couple of things I could try for free and so I did. And you know how sometimes you feel you have so much energy that you could walk for miles in your very uncomfortable shoes without feeling a thing until you sit down and stop? This is the kind of day I had. I felt young and careless like a student (this time with money though...) and happy like a little girl.
Everyone should be allowed to have a day off in London.
Friday 9 July 2010
Breaking the rules
Ususally breaking the rules means something positive, because it's about change and even though we all know that we need rules, we love breaking them, too. It gives you a sense of feeling.
Today I have broken my diet rules a bit. But as I'm saying this, I'm thinking, I have broken them almost every day now, which then suggests that this is not as exceptional as it should be. It's all the cooking shows' fault. I wish I wouldn't be so addicted to exciting food...
On the other hand I usually make friends quite quickly and I was a bit disappointed I guess, for that not happening here as well. Today, however, it has been a break through. I have talked to people and more importantly people started talking to me. Usually I just sit there in quiet. I guess it's a defense strategy. You get to know your ground before taking actions. I'd rather be precautious than making mistakes. And you still do mistakes. Like the other when I offered to make tea for the first time and left the tea bags in the mugs, thinking that they probably like it strong...
Today, being Friday, I guess people were more relaxed...or maybe it was me and I opened an invisible door to me.
Be it either way, I feel like I'm gaining back my confidence in myself.
Tomorrow, I'll discover London!
Today I have broken my diet rules a bit. But as I'm saying this, I'm thinking, I have broken them almost every day now, which then suggests that this is not as exceptional as it should be. It's all the cooking shows' fault. I wish I wouldn't be so addicted to exciting food...
On the other hand I usually make friends quite quickly and I was a bit disappointed I guess, for that not happening here as well. Today, however, it has been a break through. I have talked to people and more importantly people started talking to me. Usually I just sit there in quiet. I guess it's a defense strategy. You get to know your ground before taking actions. I'd rather be precautious than making mistakes. And you still do mistakes. Like the other when I offered to make tea for the first time and left the tea bags in the mugs, thinking that they probably like it strong...
Today, being Friday, I guess people were more relaxed...or maybe it was me and I opened an invisible door to me.
Be it either way, I feel like I'm gaining back my confidence in myself.
Tomorrow, I'll discover London!
Tuesday 6 July 2010
Balanced acquisitions
So yesterday I went shopping and finally got myself a scale. Which is really great, cause it it a digital one and shows less than the regular analog scale in the gym. I, of course, was very happy to find this out. So much so that I instantly felt motivated to go on with my exercises and even my diet.
To balance the whole thing of I have bought my first Jamie Oliver cookbook. To which my boyfriend said, he was really proud...So was I. And for once, whatever is needed for the recipes can actually be found in the stores. This is really great!
I have decided to try out a recipe soon just to see how would I do? Cause apparently Jamie Oliver is all about simple dishes. I like simple. Let's see how will I do.
I will keep you posted
To balance the whole thing of I have bought my first Jamie Oliver cookbook. To which my boyfriend said, he was really proud...So was I. And for once, whatever is needed for the recipes can actually be found in the stores. This is really great!
I have decided to try out a recipe soon just to see how would I do? Cause apparently Jamie Oliver is all about simple dishes. I like simple. Let's see how will I do.
I will keep you posted
Sunday 4 July 2010
Time management
Life is funny in a way. Sometimes it keeps you waiting and hanging in there for so long and the suddenly speeds up and you can't even catch your breath.
Everything seemed so slow until I got here. I felt like fighting forever for this opportunity and nothing would happen. Today I feel like I barely have time for anything. I am constantly running around and I'm doing this in a world when I'm not married, I barely have to do any cleaning or cooking and have no children. I wonder what will I do as a mother who is also working. Is there a secret recipe for time management for mothers who are wives and are working as well?
Or am I just worrying for something that is bond to happen in years? I don't know. I just feel frustrated for not being able to cope with this small amount of tasks I have.
But the good news is that I started to do exercise and tomorrow I will go to the gym again. I'm curious how much damage have I done to myself this weekend kilos-wise.
Have a good week everyone! Mondays can be fun!
Everything seemed so slow until I got here. I felt like fighting forever for this opportunity and nothing would happen. Today I feel like I barely have time for anything. I am constantly running around and I'm doing this in a world when I'm not married, I barely have to do any cleaning or cooking and have no children. I wonder what will I do as a mother who is also working. Is there a secret recipe for time management for mothers who are wives and are working as well?
Or am I just worrying for something that is bond to happen in years? I don't know. I just feel frustrated for not being able to cope with this small amount of tasks I have.
But the good news is that I started to do exercise and tomorrow I will go to the gym again. I'm curious how much damage have I done to myself this weekend kilos-wise.
Have a good week everyone! Mondays can be fun!
Thursday 1 July 2010
Diet?
Yes, I am keeping a diet. Why? Because I love the food here. I would get so fat if I weren't on a diet now! But the truth be told, I did start off with a bit of overweight. Maybe more than a bit. Today however we signed up into the gym. It's a great gym. You can run for 30 minutes watching the TV, you barely notice that you're running.
Today for the first time, I felt though that I am in a foreign place and when I don't focus on easing this for myself I can find myself in the middle of reality. Reality which means friends away, family away, driving on the "wrong side" and a boyfriend abroad. So what I will do is try to focus on the fun side, cause I know that with time, I can get used to this. In fact I could do it quite easily...
But after all...I wish to leave in a world where it is possible disregard all borders and barriers. I wonder if I can do this. But maybe. It all depends on me. And I did go to the gym today. If I could do that and keep a diet, I should be able to do loads of stuff.
Today for the first time, I felt though that I am in a foreign place and when I don't focus on easing this for myself I can find myself in the middle of reality. Reality which means friends away, family away, driving on the "wrong side" and a boyfriend abroad. So what I will do is try to focus on the fun side, cause I know that with time, I can get used to this. In fact I could do it quite easily...
But after all...I wish to leave in a world where it is possible disregard all borders and barriers. I wonder if I can do this. But maybe. It all depends on me. And I did go to the gym today. If I could do that and keep a diet, I should be able to do loads of stuff.
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